In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
