She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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