White coat. Heels.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
