Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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