we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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