Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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