i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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