We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
