another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
