when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you mean i was at the winter classic?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
