Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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