brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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