wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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