Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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