I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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