Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
