So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize