Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
