He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
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Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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