we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
