i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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