I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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