Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
