so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize