i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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