My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
