My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
