Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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