i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize