my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
