Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
