drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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