Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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