At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
