I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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