You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Vodka?
Forever.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
