I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
