it wasn't lemon gatorade
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
