i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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