So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
false alarm. still invincible.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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