3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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