the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So many bounce houses so little time
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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