Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
