ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
