Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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