I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
