Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
