How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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