I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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