I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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