I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish you could order shots online.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
