Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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