It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
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