I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
