Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm bleeding and have questions
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
