As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
