Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
