do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize