I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
