please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
