woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
